doctor's office woes

yesterday, i went to the doctor for a couple things. i'm constantly nauseous and i've been feeling in a deep blue funk these days. the chances of me being pregnant are slim to none, as usual, and i don't have any other real symptoms. at the urging of a good friend, i made an appointment.

i told him all my little problems and he basically ruled out everything on my nausea, except maybe stress/ulcer formation. to be sure, he had me tinkle in a cup. he suggested that i see a therapist for my down and out feelings, which i'm okay with. if you know anything about me, you know i have dealt with some of these things in the past. (i believe in a God of healing, but i also believe in a God who gave us the ability to learn about treating illness!)

anyway, on to the pregnancy test. of course the text was negative, but for some reason it really bothered me. i can't really get into the details, but let's get to the ridiculous portion.. the part that makes this an aleasa-only experience: something, somewhere aligned in some way and caused all the "trying" realities to hit me in his office while i waited for him to find me some samples. and i burst into tears.

ps this is from an article entitled "8 reasons to spank your kids". and i like it.
 i know you don't want to laugh at that, but you can. i was bawling in his office. you should have seen his face when he walked in and i was crying. it wasn't simple, cute, quiet tears. it was big, fat, ugly tears, complete with gasping. here's the reality. yes, it's sad. anyone who has tried to get pregnant for any amount of time can imagine that. but i think i scared my doctor with all my unexplained tears -- he walked in and looked at me like i was a hurt puppy!

speaking of puppies, we have two left. they're really cute. (the one in the middle was just over to visit).

well, feel free to laugh at the idea of having a break down in a public place (because that would only happen to me), but also think of me when you're praying for your virtual friends out here in cyber space. just for peace.. i'm thinking we're going to stop trying (if that's ever what we were doing in the first place), because i'm not sure we really want kids.


on another note ...we are doing an AWESOME study in my women's group by beth moore. if you have never done a study by her.. you MUST sign up next time you see one offered. if you just like in-depth studies (aka NOT FLUFF -- i hate fluff) i recommend the precepts studies. i am doing one on my own, but i think they offer small groups led by certified instructors. anyway. beth moore is awesome.


she is inspiring me to write and/or teach, which i've been thinking about for a long long time. and now it's out there on the world wide web so i better stop procrastinating!!

and i'm making this, this weekend. crafting is good for the soul.

yall have a great weekend.. and hopefully i'll be back to normal very... very shortly!

love, me


  1. Praying for you friend. I hope your health and your spirits are lifted. I have always had a tug on my heart for those who try and try and try....and while I don't know firsthand that sadness (because we haven't tried, so we don't know if we have problems) but a part of my hurts reading about your sadness. Its ok to cry, and ok to scare your doctor! Hope you feel better inside and out soon!

  2. Oh dear friend...
    A] Totally had a meltdown in public Wednesday. At clinicals. In front of my instructor.
    B] I just got weepy reading about your negative test.
    C] I love me some Beth Moore. Just finish So Long Insecurity... may need to read it again...
    D] I still want that puppy on the far left. You should keep it and name it Jodie.
    E] I want that wreath. SO MUCH.
    And F is for finally...
    I miss you like crazy and love you D-E-A-R-L-Y!